This past weekend, I too had a lot of very surreal moments.
- I went to a monthly encouragement-group of youth pastors in the east valley and really felt a lot of support from the church at large. If you are a pastor and do not meet regularly with other pastors like yourself, you need to change that ASAP.
- I rode on my first airplane ride ever!!!!! Just kidding. But I did fly in an airplane on Thursday, which is rare, and actually slept thru most of it.
- I went to St. Louis, MO to meet my girlfriend in person for the first time. WOW! So many things lead up to this even in just a half hour span before seeing each other in the foyer of the airport. When the plane landed and I was fully awake I had a huge case of the jitters and an adrenaline rush like no other. As I got off the plane I realized by breath smelled like peanuts and crackers, so.... I swigged some listerine mouthwash only to discover there was no place to spit it out between my exit terminal and the exit to where Emily would be on the other side. So I swallowed it, which may have relieved the nerves surprisingly. Turned the corner, and there she was.
Here are my conclusions after my first few days in St. Louis about Emily:
- She is absolutely breath-takingly gorgeous!!!! Yes, I knew she was a pretty girl thru seeing her on skype and stalking her on facebook. But being in person I got the up close and personal view of who Emily is.
- She is a good navigator.
- She is really caring and passionately smart.
- She is a good kisser.
- She is lite. So much so that I never tired of picking her up to give her a bear hug.
- Holding hands with her is like crack to me.
An extremely important realization that came after our time together was a unique feeling of contentedness. A few months before talking with Emily this summer I pretty much had my mind and heart solidified on being single. I was content, okay, and resolved about being single. But the contentedness I am feeling now is not like that. This feeling, this choice, is one of the most calming and peaceful sensations I would never want to hold back from even my worst enemy. I love Emily.
I love Emily so much that I constantly am praying and checking to make sure that my love for God is still over my love for her. Thankfully this is the case. In fact, my love for God has really deepened because of my love for Emily. Not because I ‘love’ God because I am thankful he gave me a girlfriend. That really doesn’t make any sense. I love God more now because I have experienced love first hand. Strong feelings of compassion and thankfulness by themselves is not love and is not worship. Now that I know that I can better love God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength and love Emily more than I do myself.
This may sound naive, but I have never been in love before. Last year I really thought I was in love, probably twice. But looking back those we’re just crushes mixed with a Christian-College’s pressure to get married before you graduate. I am a very passionate person and I really hope I don’t overwhelm Emily with how I communicate my love for her. When I was waiting in the airport for 6 hours to leave St. Louis I think I wrote four sonnet-poems exclaiming my love for her as well as brainstormed creative ways like an edited video for her. But yeah, this is super surreal as Emily mentioned.
How could this be so perfect? God. Maybe God didn’t create us specifically for one another as “soul-mates.” But I will tell you that because Emily and I have pursued Him separately and have wrapped our identities around that, it should be no surprise that things start coming together so that we can pursue God and his will for us as a couple.
Somebody warn Einstein, reality has taken on another dimension.
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