I think Andy's last post sums everything up really well. What might be difficult for some people to swallow is that our relationship so far has been a) quick and b) unconventional. Let me explain...
"So... you've only been speaking since the end of August, and you're already in a relationship?"
How is it that we can already be so sure of this when we haven't even known each other for little more than a month and a half? As Andy pointed out, we've already shared so much with each other, and with only half a regard to how long we've been speaking or what's happening around us. I've told him things that I've never told anyone before. He has quickly become one of my closest friends.
It's normal for friendships to develop so quickly, is it not? What makes this so much deeper is what we've shared, and what we are both looking for in the future. The move of going 'in a relationship' on facebook, as he mentioned before, is because I have no thoughts of 'what if this doesn't work?' or 'maybe I'll still meet someone else'. In my book, that is more than enough reason to paste it all over facebook and wherever else I can, because it's already on my heart.
Of course, in today's society, that's now how 'dating' or 'relationships' work. You don't have 'the talk' until you've known each other for a while, or at least have dated casually for a bit, and then decide to be exclusive. But that all depends on what you're looking for in the first place. I'm not looking for someone to date, someone to hang around with who will make me feel pretty and not lonely. I'm looking for the rest of my life, and it has to be with a certain calibre of man. Once that was quickly established, what else is there to do but be excited and want things to move as quickly as possible? With the distance, a facebook relationship status is about the biggest thing we can do, so we wasted no time.
"So... you guys haven't even been in the same room together, and you're already in a relationship?"
Andy's previous post explained the definition of a relationship, so I don't think I need to do much to answer this one. Why would it make a difference if we haven't physically met before? Thanks to whichever genius invented Skype, we have been able to speak face-to-face for quite a while now. Theoretically speaking, this is the same as sitting across from someone and having a conversation. Of course, there is a great difference when you are in someone's presence, but for the relationship we're building, that is taking place daily. When we finally meet in St Louis, I imagine we'll feel quite spoiled, and it makes those days that much more precious and valuable.
As he also mentioned, this distance will make the foundation of our relationship rock solid. There will never be a point when we wonder if it went too quickly for any reason, because we are taking our time. Maybe it's not ideal, but in the long run it will make our relationship that much stronger.
Before I really knew him, when we had just started emailing, I was having some of these thoughts as well. My mind was still judging things based on society's definition. I would think about how this isn't the way it's supposed to happen. I had a million different ways that I was going to meet the guy for me, and none of them involved email, and especially not 5,000 miles between us. But now I could not care less how everyone else thinks things are supposed to go; this is what's happening with us. Take it or leave it.
Of course there's all the talk about 'just knowing' when someone is right for you. That all sounds well and good for someone who 'just knows', but what about the rest of us out here, trying to figure out how we can get onto the movie set that seems to be your life. Tell me something real, some serious way that I will know, without a doubt, that this guy is for me. Their answer: I can't explain it, you just know. Gee, thanks, how descriptive.
My Aunt told me that he was just driving her down the road after picking her up for their first date, and she 'just knew'. How romantic... but, really? Does it really happen that way?
We were just skyping for the first time, and I 'just knew'. I can't explain it, I just know.
Hallelujah.
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