Anyways, I am looking forward to the fruits this relationship has to bring. I think a lot of the temptation that Emily and I could normally face will not even be an option because of not being in the same country. Both of us are pretty fast paced and once we know we want something then we will go after it if it is worth it. That being said, the long distance aspect will almost force us to slow down and make sure we are not rushing into anything. Then again, I did pretty much convince her to get the relationship status changed on Facebook with some inception - it only took 5 layers of dreams to make her think it was her own idea!
In the meantime I am trying to answer a question posed by one of the middle school girls at the church I work for. Basically, this girl asked how could we consider that we were 'dating' when we had never met before in person and could not be in each other's presence for only a few precious days in St. Louis. I explained prior to this that we had been talking since the end of August and I think she was more surprised of the shortness of the month than with the long distance aspect of our relationship. I know she is just a tween, but I still think it is a good question to at least address.
Regardless of who asked it, the question is still there to be answered. Answering it depends on where you are coming from and more specifically how you define dating regardless of the distance. If dating is defined as just a close relationship between a guy and a girl to spend time in one another presence, texting "i luv u", and experiencing one another physically on varying degrees; then alright you're right Emily and I are not dating. Then again that is the scope of a middle schooler's definition of a dating relationship. However, if you look at dating in the context of God and our lives as Christ-followers then you end up at an entirely different destination.
The destination, or definition in this case, is based on how God views dating. This is a concise succinct definition, so calm down all you courtship freaks out there. If dating is defined as a growing relationship between a man and a woman (Children of God) that are primarily investing in one another emotionally, mentally, and spiritually to confirm that they are right for marriage from the start with little if any physical intimacy; then yes Emily and I are dating. With a heavy focus on the growing part, but still definitely dating.
What about all those Christian couples we read about who saved their first kiss, if not holding hands, for the wedding altar? Or the couples that do plenty of things together, including making out, but have never sat down and just talked or have begun talking at night and before they knew it the sun came up at dawn? How about the couple that are physically handicapped and do not even have the possibility of physical intimacy but have still been together for 5 years? And of course, what about the couple who are temporarily separated by distance that have shared the bulk of their identity's with each other in the past month and have grown a fondness for one another that is nothing but pure?
Do any of these couples get disqualified from the definition because an element was missing from their relationship? No. In fact, although I did not intend it - all of those situations could have been the same couple just somewhere else on the "growing" timeline. At the same time I do understand where that girl was coming from; simply put, her definition of dating is probably based on the world's instead of God's. (Note to yourself, this is a girl whose opinion on dating I've heard in more diverse situations than this).
Our relationship is going to be different. And I am already proud of that. Not because of what we will accomplish for ourselves, but what God will help us create by seeing each other the way he sees us. In the future, I will not be one of those husbands who cannot sit down and talk with his wife or listen to what happened to her that day. At that time, Emily will not be the wife that constantly miscommunicates with her husband because she doesn't know where he is coming from in his thinking or how he expresses himself. Because of this relationship, we will both be able to appreciate one another as individuals before even having a chance to appreciate one another thru the other 3 senses aside from hearing and seeing (aka Skype). If and when this works it will be very hard pressed for us to not appreciate each other's physical presence in the same room. We will be so unaccustomed to it, at least at first, that we will consider it a privilege.
Maybe these all sound like high hopes and well wishing. I don't think so, I think Emily and I are going to be more than just fine. Not in spite of the long distance fact, but because of it.
What are your thoughts honey?
(Oh snap, he used the pet name)
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