Spoiler alert: Emily is coming back sometime in December. Oh yeah, I wish I could try to bottle that feeling and study it. I have been giddy for 2 days straight and am still immensely happy today. I had blood work taken on Monday which took several attempts - with a smile and dazed look on my face. Yesterday I had surgery on my foot to get a screw put in it (yeah yeah, I got 'screwed' haha), and had an amazing drugged up dream of us being together, and then once I woke up it wasn't even a big deal. Today, the foot hurts a little ~ but at the same time I know that if it heals according to plan I will get this boot off on Monday so I can dance with Emily at her brother's wedding.
I take note of all this because I am having a huge reality check. Emily and I are really going to be together, not just in St. Louis for the wedding - but actually living in the same city spending time with each other every day! This isn't just some electronic social commitment that could potentially turn into a half-life as a friend of ours pointed out. This long distance relationship is slowly going to cease to exist to become a close distance relationship.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like what Emily and I have right now isn't special. But she would agree with me that it isn't enough for the long haul. I have a few friends back at Manhattan Christian College that joke around with me that I created Emily's profile and made her get "in a relationship" with me. Obviously for you people out there that know Emily this is ridiculous, but at the same time - if Emily and I could never be with each other what would be the difference? I still stand by what I said in a previous blog post, that I would wait the needed time to be with Emily in person. I'm glad that the time needed is now 2 months - which is still going to feel long.
This reality check has also been reassuring for my desire to keep our relationship fresh and on the cutting edge. What I mean by that is being able to communicate between us the very best and most creative ways without being in person. She made the first jump from short Facebook messages to long emails. Then I think I kept on pushing the envelop with initiating a Vlog that we can share videos back and forth and now with the Blog that you are reading. I can't remember who suggested Skype, it was probably Emily, either way that has been the best so far. So I started looking into other ways we could deepen our long distance relationship. After hours of research and reading thru a new book about it I realized there were only a few things we haven't done yet - that we were getting to anyways. We haven't done letters yet because they are obsolete. However, I am hoping to get her a care package later this month or early november via a friend in England. (Just don't tell Emily, I want it to be a surprise)
The fact that she is coming back now is so amazingly impacting because we've never been in each other's presence. Then again, I think I will be able to better appreciate this reality check after my St. Louis reality check where I discover Emily is a real girl I can hold, kiss, and be there for her. This is really happening.
I will end with this. At MCC last year I heard this Japanese guy's name mentioned among the students called Fukagawa (pronounced: Foo - caw - gah - wah), and have wanted to use it for a whole new word in English. Emily and I have done that. When we are Skyping or chatting and undergo a deep passion to be with one another in the same room but cannot because we are separated by over 5000 miles is when we exclaim, "Fukagawa!" The 'definition' of Fukagawa is the wanting/needing to be with each other to but being unable to do so. In 8 long days we will put to bed feelings and thoughts of fukagawa for about a 4 day coma. But then it will come back for a little over a month in full force for then we will know what it's like to be with one another. But mark my words Fukagawa - we will end you, your days are numbered, and prepare to die!
It's time for a Reality Check.
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